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| Are You FOR oR AGAINST....Let's Speak It out | | |
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Here is the story of child molested by her Mother,Hoping these will bring out your decision if you are for or against child abuse.........
If you have ever been the victim of child abuse, I can definitely
relate. I was emotionally and physically abused by my mother until the
age of 16. I felt a lot of the abuse was my fault and I deserved every
punch in the face and every burn from the cigarette. I know now that
none of the abuse was my fault and that I didn't deserve any of it.
I
kept it a secret from everyone. I hid the marks with long sleeves and
jeans. I laughed until I cried around my friends when inside I was
screaming, "Somebody please help me!" I pretended to be happy and
carefree in school but always thinking, " please don't let the day end."
My grades were good, they had to be and no one ever suspected anything
was going on.
I dreaded going home. I walked slow, fear rising
in my belly, wondering if I had completely finished all my chores before
I left for school that day. I wanted to just keep walking, not head in
the right direction, to turn and run the other way but the fear that
wanted me to not go home was also a fear that said I better get there.
My father was oblivious to the abuse, he knew nothing until years
later. He drove a semi-truck cross country and was gone for weeks at a
time. When he came home I felt the relief fall from me. The last thing I
wanted to do was spoil our special moments with him and tell him what
was going on while he was away. I was able to really relax and have fun.
His homecoming was always short lived though, usually just a couple of
days and the dreaded knot of fear would begin to tighten as he began
packing for another long period of absence. I hated to see him go.
I was not allowed friends, the ones I had were in secret. They never
called because I lied and said I didn't have a phone. There were no
sleepovers, again I lied to my friends and told them my mother had bad
headaches maybe next weekend. I didn't go to parties, mom's headaches
kept her from driving, "no I don't need you to pick me up I'd rather
stay at home and take care of my mom." I was always told by my mother,
"You go to school for one reason and one reason only and it's NOT to
have friends!" So I kept them hidden from her and her from them.
I
ran away from home at 15 but was soon found by police. When my mother
made it to the police station, she tore into me right there and I yelled
to everyone, to anyone that would hear me, "Don't you see why I don't
want to go home?" They thought it just teenage rebellion and sent me
home with her anyway.
I got it worse that night, worse than I
had ever gotten it. She sat on top of me and smothered me with her
hands. I wanted it to work, I wanted it to end for me. She would let go
just as things were getting dark and then she would repeat it over and
over. She spit on me and called me such horrible things a mother should
never say to her child. She told me she "brought me into this world and
she would take me out of it". I have heard other parents say this to
their children as a bit of a joke but she was serious. She wanted to end
my life and I wanted her to that day.
I left at age 16 to move
in with my father. (By this time my parents were divorced. He
unknowingly let her have custody of me because I was made to tell him by
my mother, that that was what I wanted.) I told him everything that had
happened all those many years and he cried long and hard and asked me
to forgive him for being so blind. he told me he would never let
anything happen to me again. He fought for custody and won because she
pulled a gun on us both and was caught doing so by an off duty police
officer.
I haven't been able to forgive her, maybe someday but
not today nor many tomorrows to come. I went through so much, so much
more than anyone should ever have to bare and so as long as I fear her, I
can never forgive her. She will continue to haunt my dreams and cast a shadow over my life. I will never forget.
Now the Questions is You all Mothers,Fathers,Brothers,Sister or Who soever having authorities of somebody Are you For Or Against Child Abuse?Why
